


Train Wreck

by nerdcanread



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst and Romance, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:07:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24718021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdcanread/pseuds/nerdcanread
Summary: Sana has a bad reputation. Dahyun doesn't do relationships. Momo has an image to maintain. They all collided just to shatter.
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Kim Dahyun, Hirai Momo/Minatozaki Sana, Hirai Momo/Myoui Mina, Kim Dahyun/Minatozaki Sana
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	1. The Anxious

**Author's Note:**

> Ongoing story, also posted on AFF.

Walking around the campus, Sana already got used to the whistles and catcalls from the frat boys and jockeys. She knows she’s beautiful and she developed quite a reputation among the people at her university. People would always stop to look at her from head to toe as they whispered things with each other. The power that a woman holds when boys treat her like a queen just to have a chance to sleep with her and when jealous girls are offended for her looks alone so gossip became a hobby of them. 

“Sana!” a cocky frat boy called out her name.

She stopped her tracks and turned her heels towards the boy who was wearing a disgusting grin on his face. Looking at the people who were watching, Sana would like to give a show and agitate the girls and mesmerize the boys even more. 

“Hey,” she greeted sweetly and flashed a charming smile.

“Want to come to my place tonight?” he asked with a sly smirk looking at his troop with the proudest looks.

Sana wanted to scoff but then her image was already built, she’s the campus playgirl who switches boyfriends every week or any day she desires.

“Sure, text me.” she winked and her body waves as she walks away.

Then she heard the girls chattering about her, “Everyone else is doing her, she must be really worth the night,”

“Such a pretty face for a sly fox.” the other one commented.

And words like that don’t shock her anymore.

“Big girl, big news, big talk… so what?” she thought to herself.

She doesn’t even give a single flying fuck about her reputation… but her father does.

“Miss Sana Minatozaki?” A professor called her out while she was putting her stuff inside her locker.

Sana looked at the professor and politely acknowledged his presence, “Good morning, sir.” with the smile she always flashes to everyone.

She noticed the professor blushed and heard the passerby comment, “She must’ve been sleeping with the professor too.”

Low blow, but who cares?

“Hey, girls,” Sana greeted the passersby nicely and they let out a fake smile as they scrammed away.

Sana couldn’t help but roll her eyes, ‘Growing so bored of your fits,’ she thought.

“The dean wants to see you.”

‘How shitty this morning can be?’ Sana thought to herself as she dreaded to see her father. The dean of the campus.

“Thank you, I’ll be there.”

The moment Sana entered the dean’s office, she received a huge ass lecture.

“Sana, what is this again?!” her father showed her pictures on the social media of her and her friends having a wild party

“It’s me at a party?” she asked indifferently.

“If you think you can keep spreading your legs forever for the boys who only want you for how you look, I say you’re wasting your life away.” her father said sternly.

“Is that what you think I always do?! Spreading my legs for every boy I see?! How low of you to think of me that way!” Sana stood up angrily and was ready to bust out the door until her father spoke again.

“You’re transferring for this school year.”

“But dad, it’s my final year and the semester just started!” Sana argued.

“I know, that’s why I’m going to make sure you’ll graduate in time.”

“I don’t understand,”

“CoEd school doesn’t work for you. I am transferring you to an all-girls school. In that way, you cannot notoriously date any guy while you study.”

“This is a joke, right?” her father gave her an address and admission date.

“No, honey. It’s not. You know what will happen to your credit cards when you resist me.”

“Well, fuck me and my life.” she slammed the door.

‘How could you know how it feels like to fight the hounds of hell? You think you know me so well! You cannot glass me forever.’ Sana and her sentiments were never heard by her father. It’s either he’s not listening or she wouldn’t tell him.

***

A senior being transferred happens rarely, so when Sana stepped in her new university, she saw girls everywhere.

Just girls.

In her mind, boys are better than girls because girls are mean. At least boys praised her and did not talk shit about her even though they intend to get her on their beds. Living a life experiencing fake love from people who just want something from you is lonely. But it isn’t in Sana's blood to show she's bothered by giving up and losing. So when girls crowded around her to give her dirty looks the moment she entered the hall, Sana does her job well, that is to give a show and annoy every girl in the room.

'Different school, different girls, same bullies… Why don' t they leave me alone?'

Even their comments make her want to be deaf, it’s not as if she has a choice though but to deal with their annoying commentaries.

“I can’t see her pores.”

“Who’s your doctor?”

“She looks so fake.”

“I’m sure she did something about her nose.” 

“Yeah, I think you’re right. It’s too pointy.”

“I heard you were transferred here because you slept with all the guys on your campus. Is that true?” A certain blonde girl with bangs looked at her from head to toe as if she’s scrutinizing Sana’s being. Sana looked back at her interestingly with the same intensity until her friends started bombarding her again with questions. The girl’s pretty but it looks like her beautiful face doesn’t reflect with her personality.

‘She must be their leader,’ Sana thought.

“Have you got tested?”

“Wash out your mouth.”

‘Fuck these annoying bitches,’ she internally shoots them with machine guns inside her head. Sana made her way to her room and the girls still followed her around.

Sana had enough. She ain’t getting any shit from them anymore. Even a dead girl inside got her limits too. ‘None of them worth my bitch wrath,’

She noticed their blonde leader’s aura darkened, “I’ve been told I am not ugly but girl, you’re just perfect! That just can’t be true!”

“Honey, it's not my fault that you look like an adorable piece of abstract art.” Sana smiled, ever showing her immaculate teeth to piss someone off and oh, how she loved how the girls got so triggered by her passive-aggressive comment.

“Watch out, someone will beat you the same, freak out, cheap shot!” The girls’ leader slammed her fist on the table before she and her girls left Sana alone.

On a distant chair, Sana saw a pale girl who was just looking at her quietly. When she saw Sana look her way, she smiled back but didn’t say any word.

Sana was left with an impression that maybe not all girls on this campus are bad. Sana made a mental note to talk to her next time.

Sana saw this coming, her father sent her to the all-girls dormitory of their school to keep her away from boys. She finds it very absurd. Her father doesn’t trust her. She’s just thankful that she got all the room to herself. She puts down her bags quickly and slumps on the bed.

“They keep commenting and they don’t even know what’s going on, why don’t they just fuck off and keep quiet?! It happens every time and it’s almost funny. But hellish on the inside. I feel so miserable it makes me want to laugh.” 

Then she laughed, “I don’t give a damn about what they think. I know who I am. None of it is ever worth my tears.”

Another day at the campus, Sana decided to put her earplugs on to mute the mean girls who kept following her everywhere. But their eyes are all around her wherever she goes.

“Hello, new student?” a professor called her attention.

A guy professor at an all-girls university?

“Yes, sir. Sana Minatozaki,” she introduced herself and the professor shook her hands and introduced himself as well.

“Mr Lee, are you on your way to the cafeteria? You seem to not have friends with you. You can join me if you want.”

Sana flashed her usual charming smile, “Sure!”

After a few days, news and gossip about her sleeping with the professor spread like a wildfire. Her father was furious, being a powerful lead on school institutions, Mr Lee was discharged of his duties. All professors were changed to women. Sana couldn’t help but feel sorry about the poor guy who did nothing but have lunch with her and toured her around the university. She received a call from her father.

“You will do whatever you want, huh? How shameless are you?!” her father rant on the phone.

“The rumour is not true, we just had lunch in the cafeteria because I was alone!”

“Everywhere you go, there’s trouble! Will you ever change?!”

“Well, I don’t know. Everything I do seems to be embarrassing for you. Goodbye.”

‘Same rumour from different schools… Should I sleep with a professor just to stop their malicious gossip? Ah, why am I shocked about this, it’s nothing new? No one listens anyway.’ Sana thought to herself. She looked around and saw the malicious intent on the girls’ eyes as if they were scrutinizing her being.

It’s like 1 vs The world, but as for Sana’s perspective, she was the world. That’s how strong she is as a woman.

But she couldn’t care less…

Suddenly, she felt cold.

‘Gosh, I hate being vulnerable,’ she muttered under her breath as she hugged herself and she caught the same pale girl looking at her before giving her a warm smile.

Suddenly, Sana felt warmth… as if she’s really the world in her battle.

Sana smiled and waved but the pale girl just quietly acknowledged the greeting.

‘Why won’t she talk to me?’

Then Sana would always see the girls’ blonde leader glaring at her for unknown reasons, she would glare back with the same intensity and the blonde girl would look away.

‘Why does she hates me so much?’

There were days when Sana felt like the world was losing versus the 1 so she would go on the school rooftop and scream millions of curses that no one could hear. One day, she went again on the rooftop to spill her uneasy feelings but she found someone on her usual spot.

A jet black-haired girl.

“Hi, can I join you?” Sana greeted, when Sana saw the face of the girl, it was the pale girl whom she exchanged smiles with.

The pale girl smiled and patted the space beside her. They both look at the sky in silence. Sana enjoyed the peaceful feeling she had until she found herself getting sleepy and leaned on the pale girl’s shoulder.

When she woke up, she realized that the sky is already dark and they both missed the rest of the classes but the pale girl didn’t seem to mind.

“Thank you for letting me sleep on your shoulders, I’m sorry you missed your classes,” Sana apologetically said to the girl as she straightened up her skirt.

The pale girl looked at Sana and smiled as if she brought back the sunshine in the night. She was about to leave until Sana held her wrist.

“Can I hug you?”

Sana needs that support right now she’s feeling down. She wasn’t expecting the pale girl to agree with her so she was shocked when the pale girl hugged her.

Sana thought that maybe, she made a friend that day.

She internally facepalmed when she forgot to ask the pale girl’s name. She didn’t see the pale at the rooftop the next day. Also, the girl didn’t smile at her for weeks.

‘Maybe she’s not my friend…’ Sana thought.

Another day, another hell at school. Sana still has her earplugs on with noise cancellation because all those bitches are cancelled and don’t matter in her life. Sana knows they were talking about her and all she can do is write a huge ass FUCK YOU :) with a smile on paper and called their attention.

“Hey!” Sana called out pleasantly to their leader as she raised her paper and pointed at her sweet dedication as she smiled.

“See?! You have no manners at all!” the girls were about to gang up and attack her until Sana’s eyes darkened as she slowly removed her earplugs.

“Touch me once, I’ll make sure you all got kicked out of this school.”

For the first time in her life, Sana was glad she was a Minatozaki… rich and untouchable.

“This is not the end Minatozaki,”

Then, Sana heard an angelic giggle from the corner of the room. It was that pale girl. She gave Sana a huge grin and a thumbs up.

'So fucking cute.' 

“Losers.” The girls left Sana alone and Sana caught the glimpse of the girls’ blonde leader looking at the pale girl. Her eyes speak of words that Sana couldn’t understand. The looks as if she was betrayed.

Sana stood up and slipped her number on the pale girl’s table.

‘Call me, xxx5 669 444 - Sana Minatozaki.’

Being a touchy person she is, Sana pinched the girl's cheek softly. The pale girl just read her note and smiled at her. The smile that would frustrate Sana even more in the future because she never called Sana.

Sana has a new interest… a quiet pale girl who doesn’t talk.

‘Maybe she’s enough to ease my boredom,’

Sana swears to herself that the next time she sees that pale girl, she’s going to make her talk. And she did see the girl at the cafe inside their school vicinity. Alone and quietly reading a book. Sana charmingly greeted her and sat in the vacant chair in front of the pale girl.

“Hello,” Sana greeted and the pale girl looked up from her book and gave Sana a warm smile.

“What are you reading?” she asked and the pale girl just showed her the book cover.

'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck' 

“I see, I gave you my number… You didn’t call me.” Sana went straight to the point.

The pale girl looked at her phone and back to Sana. She puts her phone on her ears and suddenly, Sana’s phone rang.

“What a shock...” Sana commented, “How to save your number? I’m sure you have a name.” Sana looked at the girl and the girl showed Sana her ID.

‘Kim Dahyun’

“Dahyun? Shall I call you Dahyun?”

The pale girl nodded in approval.

“My name is Sana,” Sana reached out her hand to shake but the girl just looked at her so she retracted her hands embarrassingly and she frowned.

‘So, this is how you want it, huh?’ Sana’s patience was wearing thin. She’s getting aggressive. She wants the girl to talk and she would make her talk.

“Are you perhaps mute?” Sana asked rudely and Dahyun seems to take no offence.

After a few seconds of comfortable silence, Dahyun finally speaks.

“No, I just hate talking,” Dahyun said as she exudes the same warm aura and smile at Sana.

‘Wow, this is the kind of person that I like.’ Sana thought to herself.

“Well, I love talking… I just hate it when people do it. They love talking about me as if they know me.” Sana commented and looked at Dahyun like she’s the most interesting person in the world.

Dahyun raised her brows and looked at Sana amusedly, “I see, you got quite a reputation.”

Sana leaned in closely and asked suggestively, “Well, am I doing a great job living up to it?” 

Dahyun shook her head calmly, “You’re a train wreck,”

Sana was surprised by how straight forward Dahyun is.

“Think you can fix me?” Sana felt something ticklish on her legs but Dahyun’s face was the greatest distraction. It’s a mixture of playfulness, fun and something melancholic that made her face look calming.

“You don’t need to be fixed,”

“Then… Did I hit you hard?”

Dahyun immediately looked up to see Sana’s serious face and that made her laugh like mad.

“Oh, dear… I thought you’re a boy magnet but I didn’t know you flirted with girls too,” Dahyun dried her tears of laughter and put down her book. 

Sana loves the full attention she gets.

“Well, I don’t really like girls but you’re an exception…”

“I don’t do relationships…” Dahyun said and gave out an apologetic smile.

“We don’t have to be in a relationship. We can just hang out and have fun.” Sana lewdly suggested.

“I guess that’s okay.”

“Then, can I tag along with you whenever I like?”

“I see no reason why you can’t.” Then Dahyun put her hand on her face and leaned closer, Sana was startled at the realization that Dahyun has been playing footsie with her legs under the table ever since she sat on the goddamn chair and she was too focused on Dahyun’s face to even notice it. Sana’s face got redder, that she needed to fan herself out.

“Wow, okay… for someone who doesn’t do relationships, you’re quite a flirt.”

Dahyun giggled before retracting her foot, “I think you don’t do relationships either, isn’t this a perfect combination?”

“I do relationships, but not serious ones.” Sana shrugged.

“Sana, you’re a walking catastrophe but I don’t mind.”

Because Dahyun is a disaster, calamity, catastrophe, lightning and thunder and great depression combined. Something is appealing about unavailable people and Sana gets the thrill to change Dahyun’s mind.

“If you keep saying things like that, then I might kiss you,” Fearing that her statement was too bold, she was about to add that she was just joking when Dahyun answered.

“No one’s stopping you.”

Then Sana kissed her. It was short, just a peck, her lips were soft and velvet. Dahyun seems to be so composed about it.

“Not bad.” Dahyun gave out a smile that didn't reach her eyes. 

‘Why do her eyes look so sad?’ Sana was intrigued. 

She wants to know more and more.

But after their exciting conversation, Dahyun shows up less and less of her presence and her smile in the next few days and Sana hated her for that. Sana hates it more when she thinks about Dahyun’s perfect face. 

“Isn’t it funny that dad sent me to an all-girl school to stay away from boys only to start pinning on a girl?” Sana had a smile plastered on her face and frowned when she remembered how distant Dahyun is from her.

She’s just hot and cold…

Does she like her or does she hate her?

Sana is confused.

‘What are you doing to me?’

***

Sana’s perspective...

I genuinely want to know why I hate and want her at the same time. It’s ridiculous how she makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. They say, the more we get to know someone deeper, the more you want to sleep with them. She’s just so fucking attractive, and I am just uniquely awful...

A politely giant fuck you to the universe for creating someone as perfect and unflawed as her and leaving none with a girl like me…

A bad reputation, a boring dull life… lots of mistakes as ingredients.

I feel like everybody hates me so often I'm just inside my room. Lost in the bedroom with my thoughts of my unfulfilled dreams. Oftentimes, I am sad and I don’t remember why. I feel like offending everyone is my job. If I don’t trigger at least one of them, I am not doing my job well. I tried offending her multiple times but she stayed quiet.

I felt like I lost and I am offended by that, I want payback. 

A kiss again, maybe? 

I always find myself staring at her lips secretly but she’s quite an observer. She noticed and I saw her smirk.

'Damn girl.' 

Oftentimes, she would just look at me. Her silence speaks a thousand words but I couldn’t guess them. She’s mysterious. She doesn’t speak so much and her eyes show a melancholic look. It spills sadness I couldn’t comprehend. It’s something I couldn’t grasp.

‘How dare she excites me that way and leaves me cold for days?’ I felt rejected, but I’m not a quitter.

I want more of her. I want to be close. So close to filling the gaps inside of me.

My regrets look like just texts I shouldn’t send but I figured she’s the only way out of my head.

‘I want to be with you.’ I texted her.

After half an hour of hopelessness and contemplation, if I sounded so desperate, I received a reply.

‘Where to?’

After a minute, I replied.

‘Anywhere with you.’

Realizing my reply might be too lame before I could unsent it and form a brand new decent reply, I received a text that would change my life forever.

‘Okay, at 6 pm sharp, my room number is 204.’’

‘On my way.’

I found myself standing in front of her room with thoughts: Out of all places, she asked me to come into her room. Is she luring me? Is she playing games with me? Two can play a game and I hate losing. 

But she doesn’t do relationships…

I guess I am thinking a lot about her while she was thinking less of me.

Before I could’ve even knocked, someone opened the door.

It was her on a large T-shirt, messy bun and no makeup on but she gave me that familiar smile. As if she doesn’t care about how she looks when she knows I am coming over.

“You should knock, you know.”

“Dahyun…”

“Hey, Minatozaki,” she greeted.

“Hey yourself, you went missing in action for days. I was missing you terribly, I have to deal with those bitches alone.” I said bitterly and she just laughed it off.

“Won’t you come in and show me just how much you missed me?”

Oh, she’s so vicious. 

“I could show you, but would you let me?”

“Let’s see.”

We ended up watching TV and playing card games. 

“You’re terrible at this,” I told her as I won three rounds in a row.

“Okay, I lose. Now what?” she looks pissed.

“You hate losing games, don’t you?” I fixed the cards on her coffee table.

“Well, who loves to lose games?” 

I stopped what I was doing and started provoking her to get some amusing reactions like I usually do to people, “Since you’re a sore loser, you have to give the winner what she wants.”

“That is?”

An illicit comment would make this perfect, “Sleep with me.”

Without missing a beat, she answered ever so casually, “Okay,”

“What?!”

“Come here.”

And my jaw dropped in awe and she used my opened mouth as an advantage to explore me over. She skillfully ran her hands on my thighs up to the inside of my shirt and caressed my face to kiss me passionately.

She was warm and I melted with her touches. 

That was the start of the best nights of my life.

And for the first time, being intimate finally had meaning. 'I may like her more than I intended to do so,' 

'Shit, this is bad.'

When it was all over, I came up with a realization that It was getting late but I didn’t want to go but I also do not want to impose by asking to stay. Dahyun might have noticed this so she asked me instead.

“You can stay the night if you want,”

“C-Can we cuddle?”

“Would you really ask when you already touched every inch of me?” She laughed and it became music to my ears.

I always get the ace on the cards but then it’s different, she’s winning the game and I am letting her and my heart is at stake.

Then nights like that repeats. We would talk about our troubles ever so casually. I am more of a talker and Dahyun is more of a listener. She makes me feel comfortable. My feelings for her grew and I think she has a right to know.

“Kim Dahyun?”

“Yeah?”

I looked into her eyes sincerely, “I think I like you,”

“I don’t do relationships, Sana…” she said sadly and it broke my heart.

“It’s okay with me,” I put my hands on her waist and kissed her neck to hide my hurt expression.

“Sana?” she called as she ran her hands through my hair.

“Yes?”

“Your heart is pounding very fast,”

“I couldn’t help it cause you’re with me.”

"Smooth talker," she chuckled. 

"Can't you see that you and I look so damn good toget-" she abruptly cut me off when she kissed me again. 

"You should keep surprising me like that," I couldn't help the smile that was forming on my lips. 

“I’m curious, how are you so brave when those girls keep on bringing you down every day?” she asked softly and kissed my forehead. 

I felt the respect, I felt the affection… But she never said anything about it… About us. 

I tried to formulate the right answer to her question but I realized that it was my fault why people do that to me, “Their words don’t hurt me anymore, Like, how can I fall when I’m already on the ground? They can’t break me anymore. I blame myself for my reputation. It’s my fault they don’t understand. I blame myself. But their words don't matter and you're here with me now. You're the only one that matters to me now. "

"Sana, sometimes I am afraid how you trust me so easily. "

"Don't be scared… Don't be scared to open up to me. "

“They’re all the same,” Dahyun said and I waited for more information and more eagerly when I saw the glint of sadness in Dahyun’s eyes.

“Sooner or later, they’re done and no one remembers your name.”

I was sure that maybe those girls bullied Dahyun and once they're done, Dahyun becomes an outcast and no one remembers her name anymore.

But Dahyun is supposed to be happy about it right? To get the chip off her shoulders from the girls who only know how to talk with no sense. 

“Dahyun…Will you let me erase that sadness in your eyes?”

“I’m not sure you can,”

After that night, Dahyun became distant again. Does she care? Does she like me back? Why did she never call me? She’s selfish. She doesn’t care about my feelings. She’s an expert at fleeing the chaotic consequence of my desire to be with her. I am left hammering at the gates of her personal citadel.

I feel as if I have no right to cry. I wanted this. I wanted her. Sometimes, people who are close to us hurt us the most.

I finally reached the acceptance that maybe Dahyun doesn’t really like me so I didn’t try to reach out anymore. Being broken-hearted sucks but maybe it’s karma paying back at me.

“I guess everybody wants me for my looks and my body,” I thought to myself.

Dahyun, the only person that would make me feel crazy for liking one so much. I never thought I would get caught up with the constant push and pull game of love.

Maybe I should just study well to graduate on time so my dad would stop whining about me being a troublemaker.

I stopped paying attention to those girls who spike me with their mean words and Dahyun who probably doesn’t even care about me.

But it’s hard to stay focused when people keep trying to bring my mood down. The girls crowded around me just to diss me again. I saw the looks on their blonde leader’s eyes, it was filled with hatred. As if I did something really terrible at her but I don’t know what is it.

‘Oh, shit. Here we go again,’

“Just looking at you disgust me,” the blonde leader commented.

“Oh, weren’t you looking in the mirror just now?” I put up that poker face on, they don’t deserve any reactions from me.

“Seems like you're done with boys now that you started playing with girls this time!”

“What do you mean? Are you that bored in your life that you keep on following me?” 

“Won’t you say something about your girlfriend here, Kim Dahyun?” she mocked and looked at Dahyun.

I saw Dahyun on my side view with a shocked expression. I immediately grabbed the girl’s collar and slammed her face on the table.

“Bitch, listen here, I’ve been really patient with you. If you want to get out of this room alive, keep her out of your comments.” I was in a rage. Yes, I still care about Dahyun and nobody talks shits about her.

“Dykes.” she spat.

The girl grabbed my hair and attacked me. She was about to hit me when Dahyun grabbed the girl’s hair and slapped her hard.

“Fuck off,” Dahyun threatened the blonde girl and the girl was shocked again flashing the same look as she had before. It looks as if she has been betrayed.

"How dare you?!" 

They were about to attack us again until a professor saw us.

“Hey, stop that!” and they all escaped.

“This isn’t over!” The blonde girl said.

“Mo, It was all over years ago,” Dahyun told the girl and the blonde girl’s face softened as if she was hurt as if she was about to cry but I don’t know what it meant.

“Losers!” the girl yelled as she left with her friends.

“Are you okay, Sana?” Dahyun asked worriedly.

As if she cares for me and I hated it.

“Stop showing that you care when you don’t!” 

I snapped. I was hurt but I know I am hurting her too when I saw her sullen expression.

“I’m sorry…but I do care about you, it’s just that, I was scared that this might happen to you,” Dahyun looked down in shame, “I’ve been called a lot of names because I like girls. That’s also one of the reasons why I don’t do relationships anymore.”

I became struck with the realization that Dahyun isn’t perfect. She has many insecurities but I want to accept her whole. I was desperate for her to like me back and it kills me that I even have to beg her in order to do that. 

“Dahyun, you know about my reputation but I am serious about you. I want you. I want to be with you. Please, let me… "

“I-I don’t know, Sana…”

“Please give me a chance, you like me too right?” I asked, hopefully, Dahyun would tell the truth.

“Yes, I like you, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’ll only hurt me if you stay away,”

"I can't promise you anything, Sana," she said and my heart was shattered even more into millions of pieces. 

My father learned about the incident and he was furious. He gave me a warning that he would take everything away from me if I continued making troubles but I couldn't care less. I have nothing to lose.

I have no one to lose.

Weeks after, I didn't see Dahyun anymore because the girl transferred to another school. 

'She left me without a word,' 

And for the longest time in my life, I found myself crying. 

I realized that it was only the love that's ever worth my tears. 

'Kim Dahyun' A name synonymous with love in my own dictionary. But also, synonymous to heartbreak. 

I was left unsatisfied but that's okay, why bother fighting unknown. 

The next days were hard for me. With no Dahyun on my side, how could the world fight these 1 or rather these bitches who want nothing but to bring out the worst in me? 

The answer, give them what they want. 

My worst. 

I asked my dad to kick all those bullies out of the campus and he said yes. 

They tried to apologize by saying, "We’re sorry, Sana." 

But I only have one answer.

“You’re dead to me.”

But the blonde leader never said sorry nor apologized to me instead she told me, “Now you know how does it feel to be abandoned,” 

I reached the lowest point of my life to care. Stone cold for a broken heart. 

Years later, I didn't see Dahyun anymore. I started moving out and living on my own. Having a job and refusing warmer candidates for the cold distant figure who left me without a word. 

I wasn't the only train wreck… She is too. And she hit me hard. We collided just to shatter. 

I was waiting inside my car as I reminisced about my past until I heard a knock on my window and I lowered my windows down.

“Sana!” I heard someone call me, “Have you been waiting long?” she smiled.

It was the girl who bullied me when I was at university with her friends. It was the girl whom I slammed the face on the table when she mocked Dahyun. It was the girl whom I asked my father to kick out on the school. 

But that was all in the past, that girl from being an enemy, she became the person closest to me. ‘Hirai Momo’.

“No Momo, you came just in time.”

And she’s another train wreck to add on my story.


	2. The Avoidant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile, here's an update for Train Wreck!

Dahyun's perspective...

It was a busy day at the clothing store I work at. There are so many ladies spending their cash on sales to feel good about themselves to fill their empty hearts after working hard for weeks. I saw two ladies holding each other’s hands as they checked out if the clothing displayed on the rack fits with each other.

‘Maybe they are a couple,’ I thought to myself.

Observing people is my hobby. I’ve been doing this ever since I was young. When I was a kid, it took me seven years just to learn how to talk. My parents thought I was dumb. But maybe they weren’t wrong.

I always tell my parents that I like girls more than guys. They just laughed at me. When I learned how to talk, I started hating myself. I keep saying the wrong things and people that I love always end up hating me. 

So, I decided to only talk when necessary.

My life changed drastically when I entered the university. Since my parents thought that I was afraid of men, they decided to enroll me in all-girls university.

Then I met Momo, a girl I really liked… no scratched that, she was my first love.

Momo was a popular girl. She’s always around other girls all the time. She was the school queen and I was just a nasty peasant who isn’t even worth it to breathe the same air as her. So, it shocked me when she noticed my presence.

I was quietly doodling on my notes when I saw Momo walked in the room with her friends. They were chattering loudly, I heard Momo say “Fine! I’ll do it.” until everyone went quiet and they were suddenly staring at me and Momo made her way to me.

“Hello.”

It was that queen, Momo talking to me… 

What the hell?

“Hi, I see you’re a new student?” she asked.

I silently confirmed by nodding my head.

“You surely not like talking, huh?” I saw her amused expression. She suddenly put her arms on my shoulder. It made me feel nervous. 

Pretty girls make graves. 

“A-Ah, sorry. I just hate talking much.”

“What’s your name?”

“Kim Dahyun.”

“My name is Hirai Momo,” she smiled and looked at my doodle, “Oh my, that’s a cute bear!” she praised.

I looked at her face and suddenly she was the light that shines on my dark world.

‘You’re beautiful…’ my thoughts were spoken loudly and she giggled.

“Darling, I could say the same thing.” 

Then she slipped her number on my table. ‘Call me. Xxx-786-2826 -Hirai Momo,’

I saw her make her way back with her friends as they give each other high-fives and Momo looked back at me to give me a wink.

‘God, if this a punishment then I want more.’

And I called her that night, I was so excited like a dog wagging its tail for its master. Momo got me all wrapped up on her fingers. 

“Hi Momo, this is Kim Dahyun.”

“I’ve been waiting for you to call me, I’ve been dying to ask you out.” she said on the other line and I was a mess shifting my position on my bed and muffling my screams of excitement. 

“Why is that?”

The line was silent for a moment until she speaks again, “Because you’ve got a face like a daydream.”

And I was blushing all night thinking about those stupid words that made my heart beats faster. On our first date, we had a coffee at a cafe inside the school vicinity. 

"Hey Dahyun, I'm sorry I'm late. I had to finish some homeworks," 

"It's okay," 

"What are you reading?" 

I showed her my book, 'Magic'. 

"I see, is that why your face looks so magical that you captivated me with your spell?" 

"T-That's… that's a bad pick up line." 

Then, I felt tingles on my toes. When I looked under the table, it was her legs tangled in mine. 

Damn it. 

"What a-are you d-doing?" 

"Nothing, you have very nice legs." then she laughed childishly. 

She's a borderline of a femme fatal and innocence. 

And I find that very attractive. 

We spent our days being the first person to say good morning with each other and the last person to say good night with each other.

On our second date, we ate lunch together at the school rooftop. 

"Did you cook this?" I asked. 

"No, it was my mom." she said and then I looked at her. 

"Oh, god. You're a mess!" Momo eats like a baby and it was so cute. 

"What can I do? The food is good!" 

"Tell your mom I said thanks," 

Then she stopped eating and grinned, "Tell you what, you can thank her personally. I'll take you home to meet her one day." 

"I don't think she'll like me though." I said and she frowned in dismay. 

"Why do you think of that?" 

"Your friends don't even like me." 

When me and Momo are together alone, she's warm and I feel like she really cares for me but when she's with her friends, her friends look at me as if I'm the most disgusting creature on Earth and Momo felt like a stranger to me. 

"But I like you…" 

And that was enough to ease my worries away. 

But something about her expression that bothers me. She looked sad and I didnt know how to fix her. 

We went out a couple of times until on our fourth date, she confessed.

“I like you, please be my girlfriend?”

As expected, I said YES.

Before I fell too fast… she kissed me quick but made it last in my memory. It was sweet and slow. I wanted to run far away so I can breathe, even when she’s far from suffocating me. She’s so hypnotizing. She got me smiling all day.

For the first time in my life, I knew my feelings were real. Then I was terrified, my stomach screams just when I looked at her.

“I like you too… maybe more than what you think.”

She successfully made me fall for her. 

I was so proud of her that I wanted the world to know she’s mine but she just wanted me to be kept private. As if she was ashamed of me and that always makes me cry.

“Why won’t you hold my hand when people are around?” I asked.

“I-It’s… Please don’t cry. I-I don’t want to see you crying.” she said as she tried to wipe my tears.

“Momo?”

“Yes?”

“Do you regret holding my hand?”

“I…”

She never gave me a concrete answer.

“Come, I’ll take you home.”

But maybe I was just overreacting.

Then she started ignoring me for weeks. Her friends even laugh whenever they see me. I was lost, I don’t know why. 

If this is love, please don’t break me. 

I confronted her one day while she’s too busy ignoring me and having fun with her friends. I see how it would badly hurt me when she said goodbye.

“Hey, Momo…” I called her attention, she looked at me like how her friends look at me.

Empty...like I was nothing to them.

“You’re still not finished with this girl? The bet is already over!” one of her friends commented.

A bet?

“Shut up!” Momo told her friend and looked at me quickly as if she was ashamed.

Of me, or herself? 

That’s the question I never get the answer to. Her friends suddenly flooded Momo with questions.

“Why? Did you develop a feeling for this loser?”

“W-What?!”

“Maybe you kissed her! Ewww, Momo. What a taste!”

“Are you gay Momo?”

“O-Of course not!”

I saw Momo with a shocked expression for a second until she cleared her throat to speak words that spiked me.

“Y-You’re just a bet… You’re n-nothing to me.”

“Is losing me what you really want?”

It took her awhile before she answered, “I never got you in the first place.”

And the world laughed the moment I cried. I realized, I fell for her but she just watched me fall to break. 

She didn’t catch me.

I can’t believe I fell for this.

After that day, she tried talking to me again. But it was too late, the damage has been done. She cannot fix me anymore. 

I was heavily broken.

“Dahyun,” she called out as she knocked on my door.

That voice...

“Go away, Momo.” I was on the other side leaning on the door. I do not want to see her but chasing her away breaks my heart even more. But she hurt me first so it’s not my fault.

She’s like a fire that burns me.

"Let me explain,” I heard her voice from my closed door.

I miss you so much.

“I already know the truth, what’s more to say?”

But I am hurting too.

“I’m sorry,”

Can I still trust in you?

“The truth is all that I can hear everytime you lie,”

What if you break my heart again?

“It’s not all a lie, I-I was afraid, what they might say…"

What if this is just another game for you?

"Momo, did you regret ever standing by my side?" 

Every time we spent was precious.

"I'm sorry, please remember everything we ever had…" 

I won't forget.

“Stop it,”

I’m sorry.

"Please stay with me…" 

I can’t.

"It would be best if you get lost." 

The silence was thick and deafening until she spoke again.

“If that’s what you want.”

Then suddenly, we became strangers again and her friends forgot about me. I was just part of their fun. I became an outcast… Much more invisible than before. It was more comfortable than getting hurt. 

So when Sana walks in my life, I get so scared. She reminded me of Momo in every single way. 

The moment she walked in the campus, she caught my interest. She looks so brave as if no one could ever mess up with her. Momo caught me looking at Sana one time and that was the start when she and her friends tried to test Sana's patience by their hurtful words. 

“Who’s your doctor?”

“She looks so fake.”

“I’m sure she did something about her nose.” 

“Yeah, I think you’re right. It’s too pointy.”

“I heard you were transferred here because you slept with all the guys on your campus. Is that true?” It was Momo, who was looking at Sana as if she’s scrutinizing Sana’s being. Sana looked back at her interestingly with the same intensity. 

Oh, boy. This one's a fighter. 

“Have you got tested?”

“Wash out your mouth.”

“I’ve been told I am not ugly but girl, you’re just perfect! That just can’t be true!”

“Honey, it's not my fault that you look like an adorable piece of abstract art.” Sana smiled, ever showing her immaculate teeth to piss someone off and oh, how she loved how the girls got so triggered by her passive-aggressive comment.

“Watch out, someone will beat you the same, freak out, cheap shot!” Momo slammed her fist on the table before she and her girls left Sana alone.

I looked at Momo disappointedly. 

She never changed.

I saw Momo looked down in shame, it’s the same old look she’s showing me since we went separate ways.

If she’s so embarrassed of what she has done then why do it in the first place?

Then I looked at Sana, she must have noticed me looking at her so I beamed her a smile.

I hope she stays strong.

One time, I saw her looking so vulnerable when the rumour came out that she was sleeping with a professor. I felt bad for her as she hugged herself with her arms. She noticed me looking and I gave her a warm smile.

Hopefully, she wouldn’t think that everybody in this school hates her.

But then, there’s something in her eyes that makes me nervous, especially that time at the school rooftop when she hugged me, I felt warmth and I don’t like what I’m feeling. That time, when she slipped her number on my table like how Momo did got me scared of her. She makes me feel calm but wants to flee away at the same time. I think it's best if I stay away from her.

‘Call me, xxx5 669 444 - Sana Minatozaki.’

I didn’t call her.

But it seems like fate brought us together when she suddenly popped up in front of me while I was reading a book at the school cafe. 

Another déjà vu.

“Hello,” It was Sana with an annoying smile plastered on her face.

“What are you reading?” she asked and I just showed her the book cover.

'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck' 

“I see, I gave you my number… You didn’t call me.” Sana went straight to the point.

I want her out of my sight pronto so I called her number silently in hopes that she’s going away.

“What a shock...” Sana commented, “How to save your number? I’m sure you have a name.” Sana looked at me and I just casually showed her my ID.

‘Kim Dahyun’

“Dahyun? Shall I call you Dahyun?”

“My name is Sana,” Sana reached out her hand to shake but I ignored it. I don’t want to have anything to do with her.

Pretty girls make graves and the first one almost killed me.

‘So, this is how you want it, huh?’ Sana’s patience was wearing thin, “Are you perhaps mute?” Sana asked rudely.

After a few seconds of comfortable silence, I decided to talk since she seems to plan to stay with me until she gets what she wants from me.

“No, I just hate talking,” I said without forgetting to smile politely.

“Well, I love talking… I just hate it when people do it. They love talking about me as if they know me.” Sana commented and looked at me like I’m the most interesting person in the world.

This is bad.

I raised her brows and looked at Sana amusedly, “I see, you got quite a reputation.”

Sana leaned in closely and asked suggestively, “Well, am I doing a great job living up to it?” 

I shook her head calmly, “You’re a train wreck,”

Sana was quite surprised. Then I remember what Momo did to me before. With many similarities with Momo, at that moment I wanted Sana to experience the same pain I went through before. I know it was wrong but that’s just how it felt back then. Maybe she only wants something from me too. So, I decided to play their game before I lose. 

“Think you can fix me?” 

“You don’t need to be fixed,”

“Then… Did I hit you hard?”

I immediately looked up to see Sana’s serious face and that made me laugh like mad.

“Oh, dear… I thought you’re a boy magnet but I didn’t know you flirted with girls too,” I dried her tears of laughter and put down my book. 

Sana loves the full attention she gets.

“Well, I don’t really like girls but you’re an exception…”

“I don’t do relationships…” I said and gave out an apologetic smile. Trying to give her a chance to walk away.

“We don’t have to be in a relationship. We can just hang out and have fun.” Sana lewdly suggested.

She wants this.

“I guess that’s okay.”

“Then, can I tag along with you whenever I like?”

“I see no reason why you can’t.” Then she put her hand on her face and leaned closer, Sana was startled at the realization that I have been playing footsie with her legs under the table ever since she sat on the goddamn chair and she was too focused on my face to even notice it. Sana’s face got redder, that she needed to fan herself out. 

'How gullible she is!' 

“Wow, okay… for someone who doesn’t do relationships, you’re quite a flirt.”

I giggled before retracting my foot, “I think you don’t do relationships either, isn’t this a perfect combination?”

“I do relationships, but not serious ones.” Sana shrugged.

“Sana, you’re a walking catastrophe but I don’t mind.”

Because I’m a complete mess.

“If you keep saying things like that, then I might kiss you,” 

I stopped and looked at her. She’s too bold, but I’ll never lose again.

“No one’s stopping you.”

Then Sana kissed me. It was short, just a peck, my heart started to beat again.

“Not bad.” I gave out a smile that didn't reach my eyes. 

But inside my head, I knew she was trouble. I decided to play her game anyway. Momo tried to warn me one day. 

"She's going to hurt you. If not, her father will. Stay away from her." 

"Don't tell me what to do."

"You know I care a lot about you." 

I gave out a bitter laugh as my eyes felt hot and warm, "That joke ain't funny anymore." 

"Please take me back." she pleaded. 

"Maybe you shouldn’t come back to me. You had your shot then you blew it." 

And I went on my way, the last words I heard her say were, "If she hurt you, I'll be right here." 

'Lies.' 

I started to be afraid of my own feelings for Sana. I fell harder every time we meet. So, I started to avoid her. She called me out for it one day. I found her on my door sitting as she was waiting for me to come inside my room. 

"Sana." I greeted, she looked sad and desparate. 

I started to feel guilty. 

"Wh-Where have you been?" she asked softly. 

"I was in the library for a research." 

"I see." I helped her stand and I unlocked my door. 

"Would you like to come inside?" I asked. 

"Will you let me inside, Dahyun?" a simple question she asked with a deep meaning. 

"I don't know, Sana." 

She just smiled and held my hand instead, "It's okay, just stay with me." 

Behind those smiles, I know she's hurting and it's all because of me. 

Kim Dahyun?”

“Yeah?”

She looked into my eyes sincerely, “I think I like you,”

“I don’t do relationships, Sana…” I said sadly and it broke my heart.

“It’s okay with me,” she put her hands on my waist and kissed my neck to hide her hurt expression.

“Sana?” I called as I ran my hands through her hair.

“Yes?”

“Your heart is pounding very fast,”

“I couldn’t help it cause you’re with me.”

She looked at me as if her eyes were pleading and conveying a lot of messages, “Dahyun…Will you let me erase that sadness in your eyes?”

“I’m not sure you can,”

No one ever did. 

I started to avoid Sana again. I knew I'm not good for her. All I do is hurt her and I'm too tangled up with my own issues to commit in a relationship again. I saw Momo and her friends taunting her again and I couldn't help but feel a lot of things. 

Sad for Momo because she's not trying to change. 

Angry at people who hurt Sana. 

Guilt, because I can't have Sana and I am hurting her too. 

“Just looking at you disgust me,” Momo commented.

“Oh, weren’t you looking in the mirror just now?” Sana said with a blank expression on her face. She looked tired. 

“Seems like you're done with boys now that you started playing with girls this time!”

“What do you mean? Are you that bored in your life that you keep on following me?” 

“Won’t you say something about your girlfriend here, Kim Dahyun?” Momo mocked and looked at me. As if she was trying to get some reactions from me. 

Sana immediately grabbed Momo's collar and slammed her face on the table.

“Bitch, listen here, I’ve been really patient with you. If you want to get out of this room alive, keep her out of your comments.” 

“Dykes.” she spat.

'The nerve, Momo!' 

Momo was about to attack Sana. She was about to hit her when I lost my composure and slapped her hard.

“Fuck off,” I glared at her. 

"How dare you?!" 

Her friends were about to attack us again until a professor saw us.

“Hey, stop that!” and they all escaped.

“This isn’t over!” Momo said.

“Mo, It was all over years ago,” I said and for a moment, I thought Momo looked vulnerable. 

“Losers!” the girl yelled as she left with her friends.

“Are you okay, Sana?” I asked worriedly.

“Stop showing that you care when you don’t!” 

I could only watch how much hurt did I cause her. 

“I’m sorry…but I do care about you, it’s just that, I was scared that this might happen to you,” I looked down in shame, “I’ve been called a lot of names because I like girls. That’s also one of the reasons why I don’t do relationships anymore.”

“Dahyun, you know about my reputation but I am serious about you. I want you. I want to be with you. Please, let me… "

“I-I don’t know, Sana…”

“Please give me a chance, you like me too right?” she asked and I couldn't tell the truth. I was so afraid to get hurt again and I hurt her a lot as a result. 

I don't deserve her. 

“Yes, I like you, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’ll only hurt me if you stay away,”

"I can't promise you anything, Sana," I said and my heart was shattered even more into millions of pieces. 

She cried and I wasn't even worthy of her tears. 

I was called out by her father one day. 

“You’re no good for her,” he said "She got a lot of things to do in the future and you're going to stop her from doing great." 

And I believed him. I was just a loser and she's a heiress.

A Minatozaki. 

And I am just a nobody. 

The next day, I transferred another school with the help of her father and I never saw Sana again. 

I was snapped with my current thoughts when a customer paid for an item. 

"Hey, how long til you get my items on?" a customer asked in annoyance. 

"O-Oh, sorry." I started to punched in her clothes and when I was done attending to the customer, my co-worker approached me. 

"Are you okay, dubs?" 

"I'm alright, Chaeng." I said in assurance. 

"Your shift is about to end, you should rest." my co-worker, Chaeyoung said.

"Don't worry about me." and another customers came into the cashier to pay for their items. 

"Good evening." I greeted, looking at the items instead of the customers. I punched in the items one by one, "Cash or card?" I asked politely and I received silence as an answer. I looked up to ask again. 

But I was surprised to see who it was. 

"Dahyun," she called. 

For the first time in a while, I found myself tearing up. 

"Sana." I said and I noticed that someone else was holding her arms. 

It shocked me even more. 

"Momo?" 

'Huh?' 

What a shock. My shift is about to end but my day is barely starting. 

"It's been awhile." and Momo's gripped on Sana's arms tightened.


End file.
